Okay, okay. This about does in the Kona Kava Store in my book.
First of all, I didn't really want these capsules. Ordering them was a complete accident. I was trying to order their 84% liquigels for stressful situations, something to ease the tension during the day. But I get too generous with the clicks sometimes and found myself cursing at my computer after I saw "Thank You For Your Order!" There are apparently two 84% capsules sold by Kona Kava - one is kavalactone and one is kavalovetone. The Kavalovetone is a concoction of kava extract, St. John's Wort, gotu kola, and other herbs I am not even remotely interested in. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against love. But I do have something against replacing the beating heart of Kava with an ephemeral emotion. To top it all off, I immediately sent an email to Kona Kava Store to which they promptly replied "Too late, we already sent it." Really? Most Kava vendors are nice folks who keep the lines of communication open. Most would at least send out a complimentary bottle of the stuff I had intended to buy. You know, to keep the customer satisfied... I was a bit taken aback. Victims of their own success? Possibly.
Second of all, these capsules do absolutely nothing. The bottle said take 2-3, so I took 6. One hour later I was basically ready to cry into my palms for paying $30 for 60 powerless and pointless vegan gel capsules. Absolutely nothing. To add insult to injury, the bottle has a crappy little label on it that looks as if it was printed sometime in the late 1980s on one of those teeth-fed printers that made a racket and caused neighbors to shut their windows*. For $30 you'd expect something better than that. The capsules are these little cheap-looking clear caps that have that health food store smell we have grown to... love? I gave them a good hour before judging, and then another additional hour to make sure, and then I sighed deeply and took down a bag of Pacific Kava Waka Kava and dumped two tablespoons into a strainer bag. I proceeded to get as krunk as possible on two tablespoons/two cups of Waka Kava - not a difficult task.
I've ordered several Kona Kava products and got the same disappointing results. While the Mahakea powder is decent (at best), their other products are really gimmicky and will be sure to disappoint. I'm not even sure if these capsules had Kava in them.
Not a Kava powder, so I'm not going to break it down.
0 shells out of 10
*Readers younger than 25 years old, read on and ignore this archaeological reference.